Mr. Tats & Polo.

I should have known. I should have known a guy liking me was too good to be true. I should have known that I'm ultimately destined to never marry, own a couple of cats and live in my parents house until I die. I don't care if i'm being dramatic...you'd be dramatic too if you had to officially break up with someone you went out on 2 dates with. I should have known after he tried to lick my hands things weren't right. I should have just known.

Also, I'm never dating anyone I work with ever again. 0 for 2 right now or whatever the hell that saying is and I'm not trying to go for a strike. It all started out so innocent, he walked into my office and ignored the 3 or 4 jokes I tried to make. I'm all about breaking tension and the air was completely tense when he first walked in. I should have known it was tense because he could possibly and very well might be clinically insane. Fast forward to a week later when I tell his manager that I think his assistant hates me because he didn't appreciate my humor. And can I just say I get very offended when people don't laugh at my jokes. I definitely do consider myself extremely funny. This is what his response was AND I QUOTE "oh he loves you, he's in love with you." In my mind I think, "he's cute, possibly could be someone to make out with -- why not." So he gets my e-mail - we talk -he takes my number and calls me that night. I usually don't ever carry my phone with me because no one ever calls so I go to my phone around 9 and i have 3 missed calls from said crazy ass. I should have known. I call him back and we talk for about 2 hours, when I say we talk I really mean I ramble on for 2 hours to avoid the complete and awkward silence that he's giving me on the other end. So I basically talk to myself for 2 hours and agree that we should go on a date the next night.

Friday night - I won't lie it was a really good date minus the whole him trying to feed me business. Okay wait, it was a really good date until he started holding my hand at the dinner table because that is just awkward. Why are you trying to hold my hand when we're eating macaroni and cheese? Why are you trying to hold my hand on a first date?! Which leads me to believe ...I went out on a date with a Virgin. Then. Oh and then. He started to kiss my head and my hand and I got very uncomfortable. I'm completely affectionate once I start liking someone. If you start kissing me and professing your love before I know how many siblings you have it's a problem.

Now at the end of the date I admit I made out with him. Cause he's cute and I haven't had ANY affection since I'm not going to embarass myself and tell you since when but know that it's been awhile. I should have known that this kid was in love immediately after because he would not stop texting me and when he wasn't texting me he was calling me and when he wasn't calling me he e-mailed me. And I'm a pretty boring person, I enjoy my house - so how many times can you respond with I'm at home, nothing much , what you doing?

I realized pretty soon that I was going to have to end this business but I tried to convince myself that he'd figure out a way to not be so annoyingly in love with me. He set himself up for failure though, he really did. There is such a thin line between just enough attention and stalker. This guy definitely seemed on his way to Paula Abdul stalker crazy. I'm pretty sure he's walking past my office right now staring at me. And if he isn't doing that right now - he's probably done it at least once today. I hate people who are cocky and say things like, "he's in love with me" but seriously if you guys only knew, this kid wanted to get married. I call him Monday night and basically give him the my parents would never allow us to date - i just want to be friends - i really don't like you at all speech hoping that I'd never have to see him again and I really thought it worked until..

after I hung up the phone I get a text message saying, "my lips and hugs are here for you..night night Mr. Tats & Polo" now my question is ... do I file the restraining order now or should I wait till he starts hovering outside my house?